HAFUF, Saudi Arabia, 23 August 1000000 AD (AL-JAZEERA) -- A new species of women have been discovered in the Saudi Arabian city of Hafuf by a team of anthropologists led by Saudi scientist Doctor Professor Sheikh Sodom bin Sodom.
"The women in the slum areas of Hafuf have a sixth finger on their left hand which doesn't look like a finger," claims Dr. Sodom.
Asked to explain, the highly excited doctor exclaimed that the finger instead looks exactly like a human penis and even functions the same!
"It even squirts and we found that the juice is exactly human semen and is compatible with fertilizing female human eggs that could result in the creation of perfectly normal human babies," the Dr. further elaborated.
"Now Hafuf's poor women are able to self-fertilize themselves, simply by inserting their sixth finger into their cunt."
But because this has resulted in the blurring of the line between masturbation and intercourse, linguists said that humanity needs to come up with a word quickly that could denote a meaning that is a "mix between masturbation and sexual intercourse."
"Paradigm shifts are not easy to take because humans are not receptive to change. Hence, the image of a finger that acts as a penis will further dilute humans' ability to generalize, stereotype, codify, label and categorize genders and sexualities," says Sodiq Jr, a Maldivian linguist at Medina University's Faculty of Semantics. "This could have repercussions on how the human mind interprets events and situations which in turn could affect their character and personality in negative ways."
The Richard Dawkins Foundation, set up in honor of the late British atheist and Evolutionist of the same name, released a statement saying that the discovery of women with the male organ adds further proof and evidence to Evolution and how Nature 'selects' and 'adapts' to 'changing environments' and results in interesting outcomes as organisms adapt to demanding and challenging situations.
Hafuf was set up a million years ago by the Islamist kingdom of Saudi Arabia in order to promote the good-intentioned but totally-misguided aim of giving privacy to women.
However, a few decades later, Hafuf became the world's most notorious lesbian city because many women who had experienced rape, unhappy marriages and cheating boyfriends -- and escaped from all the bitterness by undertaking the hijra to Hafuf and starting a new life -- never left the city and never wanted to leave the city because they said that "men = violence" and therefore they felt more safe and secure without men around and that if the absence of a penis to comfort their cunts was the price to be paid for it, they would gladly welcome security and sanity any day than taking the beatings and scorn of a violent man.
However, a century later, with more than 99.99 percent of the women now consisting of the elderly, as that happened in Japan and Singapore, the problem of human reproduction became acute, equally along with the problem of women moving around freely on the streets without a mahram - a beautiful word whose meaning has been twisted to mean "male relative or non-relative whose marriage to the said woman is sinful" but which actually means "a penis that could walk around because Saudi moral police, which consisted mostly of men, were not sure that women - who naturally lacks a penis - were strong enough to walk around on their own without a penis near them to give them moral support every time they enter the dangerous and violent World of Men."
An electronic firm from Japan, the world's most sexually perverted nation, with funding from Saudi petrodollars, then invented the Walking Penis robots which essentially were a breakthrough for cybernetics as these robots were essentially real human penises, removed from their bodies, and attached to real human legs, so that they could literally function as Penis Escorts that could allow Saudi women to roam around freely, as going out without an organism without a human male penis was also considered sinful according to a Hadith which was invented and therefore false but which some Mullahs misguidedly treated as true.
"It's the same everywhere," claims Dawkins' descendent and current chair of his foundation, Richard Dawkins Jr. "If you keep a species separate long enough in a restricted environment, it will adapt to the demands of its present circumstances and evolve and adapt to that situation like it happened in the Maldives too."
"Life will find a way," he said in his concluding remarks, echoing Sam Neill from Jurassic Park.